You’ve found the love of your life, check. Cried during a super sweet engagement, check. Now, wedding planning is underway, check! You are so close to saying, “I do” and now you’re trying to decide who you want standing alongside you at the altar – if anyone at all.
Bridesmaids, groomsmen, maid of honors and best men are customary and usually integral parts of a wedding. These people are typically close family or friends who help you during the entire wedding-planning process (all hands on deck!). They plan bachelorette or bachelor parties, organize showers, help address dozens of wedding invitations and steer you away from any sudden breakdowns. So yes, the wedding party can play a vital role in your wedding.
However, it’s not a 100% guarantee that the wedding party will operate as smoothly as you’d hoped. What about that cousin or elementary school friend you were close to when you were six, trying to guilt you into having them in your wedding party? A groomsmen who is uninvolved or M.I.A up until the wedding march begins to play on the day of your wedding? Dealing with clashing personalities of friends and family who are all important to you, but who can’t seem to bite their tongue when they disagree? NO, THANK YOU.
You don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings by not inviting them to play a special role in your wedding, but you also don’t want to deal with any potential drama (believe me; drama likes to appear in the strangest of places). So the question is; do you have a wedding party at all?
Many folks wouldn’t dream of having a wedding without loved one’s standing at the altar with them, or helping them plan along the way. It’s a token of friendship, trust and love to invite someone to be a part of your special day, especially those who support you no matter what.
“It’s YOUR wedding, it’s what YOU want,” everyone says. The concept is true and easy enough to understand, but no matter what, someone at some point in time is going to disagree with you, have their feelings hurt, or try to give you uninvited “advice”. Although they may have good intentions, that is not always the result.
My suggestion? If you are going to have a wedding party, choose those who have been closest to you and your fiancé during the course of your relationship. You want to be surrounded by people who love both of you and have watched you grow into the couple you are today. They’ve seen you both at your best and your worst. They are BOTH of your collective friends and have been there every step of the way.
Of course it’s not a crime to choose people who may have drifted from your day-to-day life, but are still life-long friends. One thing is certain – be sure that those who are in your wedding party will bring nothing but positivity and support to the table. That is the most important piece. If you imagine someone in your wedding party and can already picture the eye-rolling or anxiety it may cause you, don’t do it.
This is YOUR day, and it is definitely YOUR choice. If someone loves you enough, they will only want to see you happy – no matter what role they play at your wedding.